


Death and I

by owlbun



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Violence, Gen, Temporary Character Death, but he thinks it's permanent death, hi this is my first fic im nervous, if i need to fix anything let me know, mentions of a bunch of other characters also, zag's first failed escape attempt: the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22016179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlbun/pseuds/owlbun
Summary: Zagreus dies for the first time. It's an unpleasant experience.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 138





	Death and I

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up at j0dariel on tumblr. this is my first fic ever so it's probably not perfect, but thanks for reading anyways!

Zagreus didn’t expect death to be pleasant. He had heard plenty about the experience from the shades that wandered the house, all of the cold numbness and pain and heartache, but he never expected to get a chance to experience just how awful it was firsthand.

-

15 minutes had passed before he finally managed to work up the courage to jump down from the window. His heart and thoughts raced as he surveyed his surroundings, the familiar green glow of Tartarus just as discomforting as always. He regretted not taking more time to plan before leaving, regretted not saying goodbye to more people, but he couldn’t stand staying in the house for much longer. The knowledge of his mother out there somewhere pulled at his soul and called him to follow.  
  


Streaks of fire marked his path as dashed across the room. He was terrified, obviously, but he was  _ free _ . He had rarely been away from his father’s ever-watchful eye, so this moment felt like breaking chains he’d been weighed down by his entire life. He reached the first door. A determined grin spread across his face as he slammed it open and moved to the next room.  
  


He soon ran into Athena, the short conversation and her blessing filling his heart with hope and helping to ease his worries. Joining the Olympians may not have been his true end goal, but feeling so much support from relative strangers made the dream of escape feel so much more real. Shade after shade were dispatched by Stygius, each battle leaving him thanking Achilles under his breath for all of the combat training he had been given.   
  


He took a moment to rest five rooms in. His chest was heaving, body already bruised and sliced open only after a few fights. An involuntary hiss of pain escaped him as he wiped a streak of blood off his arm- red, he noted. It hadn’t seemed so unusual to him before, just another strange part of his strange existence. He knew better now, knew that a true god wouldn’t bleed red and bruise and run out of breath like he did. Despite the pain his heart was soaring, a grin plastered across his face. The blood reminded him of the reason he was doing all of this. The pain was a reminder of his humanity, and his humanity reminded him of the mother he had on the surface above. His humanity was a tool he could use to separate himself from his father and the home he had been trapped in for too long. He had a long way to go, but every step he took meant he was further away from that wretched place. A panting, giddy laugh escaped him as he took off again, heading through the next doorway. 

-

Things went downhill after that. The fights got harder, rougher, and his reflexes seemed to slow with every hit he took. His hope began to wane, but he refused to turn back or give up. He had to continue.  
  


The next chamber he entered was massive and full of traps, and the pair of bloodless that he battled with were tougher than any he’d fought so far. Their bombs and speed caught him off guard; Stygius was fast, but they were faster. The constant explosions made it hard to focus, and any time he went to lunge for an attack they managed to jump out of the way just before he could strike. A bomb went off within a few feet of him and he let out a wheeze as searing pain washed across his leg. His knee buckled underneath him as he tried to refocus. Disoriented and shell-shocked, he failed to notice the bomb that had been dropped right in front of him.  
  


He was sent flying back into a nearby pillar. A pained gasp was forced from his lungs as the breath was swiftly knocked out of him. A crack echoed through the chamber; the pain wracking through his chest made it clear that he’d broken a few ribs. He slid to the ground with a thud, a low groan rattling through him. His head fell back against the stone of the pillar. His eyes stung too much to open, and his ears were ringing too much for him to hear where the bloodless had ended up. Even moving his arms sent jolts of pain through him, but he forced himself up using Stygius. He carefully cracked an eye open despite the pain. His vision was blurry. No sign of the bloodless as far as he could see. Thank the gods for that.   
  


He took a moment to steel himself, each breath he took hissed slow and painful through clenched teeth. If he could just make it to the next chamber, he might be able to find something to heal his wounds- maybe he’d even be able to find another blessing from the Olympians, who would surely be able to help. He refused to let himself panic. His escape wasn’t going to end here.  
  


He took a step. His injured leg crumpled under him. Stygius clattered several feet away as Zagreus fully collapsed to his knees. His upper body hunched over, broken ribs sending another wave of pain through him at the sudden movement. His whimper of pain was muffled by a cough, which only caused more pain from his ribs. Through his blurry vision, he saw something red splatter against the ground. Not a good sign.   
  


He carefully repositioned himself so he was laying flat on the ground, each movement painful enough to make his vision swim. His breathing was shallow and every muscle in his body felt weak, he was lightheaded-  _ internal bleeding _ , he thought to himself. He wished Achilles was here. He’d taught him the signs of internal bleeding, but not how to treat it. He doubted there was a way to treat it, anyways.   
  


He closed his eyes. Thoughts raced through his head, trying to grasp at the quickly fleeting hope he had felt before. He just needed one good idea. Surely the Olympians could see him, would send some kind of help to him. Or maybe Thanatos would come, prevent his premature death. Meg could show up, or…   
  


His vision was tinged red behind his eyelids. His blood ran cold as a realization hit him. A god couldn’t be killed, not permanently at least, but a demigod…? He had no idea, and the thought that he might actually die here sent his heart racing. He wouldn’t truly be gone, he’d be a shade, but his chances of escape would be gone for good. Knowing his father, he’d suffer incomprehensible punishment for his attempt to leave. He’d probably be sent to some remote area of Tartarus, isolated from the rest of the underworld.  
  


He erupted into a violent coughing fit, tilting his head to the side to spit the blood from his mouth. His eyes opened and focused on the red blur before him- the blood of a human, not of a god.  _ Shit.  _ He’d been proud of his human blood before, grateful for the distance it gave him from his father, but now he realized the weakness it instilled in him. It was a flaw, wasn’t it? For the first time since he’d heard the truth about his mother, he wished he could have been born a full-blooded god.   
  


He felt himself growing weaker. The pain was still there, pulsing and throbbing through his body, but he found himself becoming more detached from it. His eyes closed again. Thoughts of his friends and family flashed through his mind. Nyx. She loved him like a real mother, but he had pushed her away after he’d realized the truth. A pang of sadness joins in with the pain. He thinks of Thanatos. He hadn’t gotten a chance to say goodbye, and now he probably wouldn’t ever get a chance. Megaera and him would never get a chance to speak again, either. He clenched his fists and tried to blink away the tears that began to gather at the corners of his eyes. He stifled a whimper as he thought of Hypnos, Cerberus, Achilles- all of the people who meant everything to him, lost. With a head swimming with his regrets, he began to cry in earnest.  
  


Quiet, choked sobs wracked through his frame for some time, each weaker than the last. It was harder and harder to focus, the world slowly giving way to darkness and a gentle warmth that couldn’t quite calm the sadness and turmoil that was flowing through him.   
  


He floated, body feeling both infinitely heavy and weightless at the same time, until the ground below him lurched. He fell. Something wet and warm and familiar surrounded him. He sunk. 

-

He was still crying when he dragged himself out of the pool of blood, flailing and coughing and making a mess of the stone around him. He shakily pulled himself to his feet. The first thing he noticed was that the pain was gone. The second thing was that he wasn’t  _ dead.  _ Each wheezing breath and fluttering heartbeat were affirmation of that fact. The realization only served to make him cry harder, mostly out of sheer relief. He wiped the blood and tears from his face, taking a moment to catch his breath and calm himself down a bit. He was getting stares from the nearby shades.   
  


After a minute or so, he felt stable enough to make his way into the main area of the house. Hypnos greets him and he mumbled some sort of response as he walked past. The world around him felt out of focus. The conversation with his father was equally hazy. He remembers saying something witty, as usual, but it was only to cover the way he was trembling slightly and panicking on the inside. He tried not to stumble as he walked away, heading to the left.  
  


The sight of Achilles at his regular post managed to finally break him from the daze he was in. Achilles glanced up at him. “Zagreus, you’re ba-” He cut himself off as he saw the state Zag was in, trembling and wide-eyed. He stepped forward and put a careful hand on Zag’s shoulder, eyes narrowed with concern. “Lad, are you alright?”  
  


Zag’s facade crumbled. He pulled Achilles into a tight embrace. Achilles, confused and worried, wrapped his arms around him, carefully rubbing the younger man’s back. He was surprised as Zag’s shoulders started to shake and the sound of muffled sobs came from where his face was buried in Achilles’ shoulder. Between sobs Zag managed to choke out an explanation. “I- I thought I was dead, Achilles. Forever. I… didn’t think I was going to come back. I thought I had lost all of you. I felt so  _ stupid. _ ”  
  


Achilles let out a soft, heartbroken sound at the explanation. “You’re here, lad. Everything is okay.” He continued to carefully rub a thumb over Zag’s back, murmuring quiet reassurances. The moment lasted a good minute or so. Achilles presence was grounding, and not for the first time Zag was incredibly glad to have the other man around. His sobs slowly quieted.   
  


Achilles exhaled quietly and squeezed Zag’s shoulder gently. “Even if you had been dead, I wouldn’t have allowed you to be lost forever. None of us would have. Your father may be intimidating, but the shades of this house can be incredibly persuasive when we want to be.” He pulled back slightly and gave Zag a reassuring smile.

Zag rubbed at his face, trying to clear the tears from his eyes, and smiled gratefully at Achilles. “That’s reassuring to hear, sir. Thank you for.. this. And everything you’ve done for me. I don’t think I would have lasted nearly as long as I did out there without your training.”   
  


Achilles smiled back, face soft with fondness for his student. He pulled Zagreus into another brief hug. “I’m glad to hear it.” He stepped back, picking his spear up from where it had been leaned against the wall. “Don’t let this dissuade you from your ambitions, alright? I believe in you, lad. You’re going to get out of here.”    
  
Zag took a deep breath and nodded. He had another chance to escape- infinitely many chances, probably. Dying was going to be hard, but as long as he had his friends back home… things might not be so bad. A flicker of something resembling hope began to shine in his eyes once more. “Right. Back to it, then.” He turned and headed back for his room, mind already racing with new strategies for his next escape attempt.    
  
Achilles watched him leave. The smile still lingered on his face. “Godspeed and good luck, Zagreus.”


End file.
